It has been quite some time since I've typed out my thoughts in this way. Due to my current life schedule and situation, I feel compelled to document my navigation of the next 9 months of my life. I am currently a student at the University of Denver. I am in a teacher education program working towards my teaching license in K-12 Spanish education. Eventually, I want to earn my Master's in linguistically diverse education. My student teaching placement brings me to North High School two days per week. I am also working part-time at Denver Language School, subbing and in the office. I want to blog because I think it will be a good way to document and follow my thinking, my mentality and my perspective over the 2011-2012 school year. It may end up in flow of consciousness writing at times, as I grapple with education and the stress of this year.
In many ways, I thrive on stress. The past few weeks have been a testament to that. After coming home from Costa Rica and enjoying only a low key days, I was already antsy and frustrated with my lack of things to do. I felt the need to find a house, get going with school, buy a new computer etc. In fact, I even complained to a close friend of mine of my free time and she promptly made me aware of how entitled and silly I sounded. "You do realize you are complaining about having time, right?" she said. And yes, only a few days later, I am eating my words and wishing for more time.
Time. What an interesting notion. We constantly want more, want it to fly by, want to capture it, depending on the situation. Time with friends vs. time sitting in traffic: we want it to pass in opposite ways yet it is always steady. Tic, toc, tic, toc. This leads me to believe that it is all in perspective. If one re-frames sitting in traffic as a great way to de-stress and take in the beauty of the day, then the experience is exponentially better than those whose blood pressure rises at the thought of a cyclist slowing her down.
And yet here I am, wanting, needing, stressing out about time. Last night my heart started beating faster and I could feel a palpable sensation of stress and heightened awareness as I laid down to sleep. Usually I fall asleep quite easily so this was odd and disconcerting. It is true that I have a lot to complete. I am juggling a lot right now and am very nervous about letting any of them drop. I want to get the absolute most out of the TEP program but I also need to work at least part-time which takes away potential quiet study time. Lastly, my placement at North High School is both challenging and intimidating.
I say this as I am running out the door, heading to DLS for the day with Cara, to Qi Ryders spin class then to dinner with Becca. (I am the chooser of my destiny, and I am consciously choosing to fill my schedule) 100% responsible.
Bueno chicos, hasta luego.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
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